Endings Hurt Beautifully

The end of an era or time in your life can be hard to navigate - whether it’s leaving school, a job, a hobby, or moving cities. It can bring up a mixture of feelings and leave you confused about how to handle them.

I’m coming to the end of an era now - and it’s so much harder than I thought it would be. For what feels like the longest time, I was ready to leave and let go and move on, not looking back for a second. But now that it is time to move on, it feels… uncertain. I feel sad, and that makes me surprised because of how I had viewed the situation up until now.

I did what I do best in these situations and made preparations. I organised a leaving meal. I kept in contact with others to keep them in the loop. I took it upon myself to be responsible for my own morale. And in doing so, whilst I may have regretted my decision, it was the right thing to do. I felt like the ending somehow wasn’t real, like there was some sort of cloud hanging over me.

But we had the meal and I sat there and it hit me. Because whilst it was lovely, and there were funny stories shared and interesting revelations made, I realised that the era was truly ending. And it felt nice to feel that resolution that I had been hoping for.

I finally felt the rush of emotions. Mainly sad that I would have to enter a new era. But I believe that whilst I may dislike the end, endings do hurt beautifully. Endings hurt beautifully in that we only miss that which we cherish. I am lucky (or suffering from a variation of Stockholm syndrome) to be in a position where I have something that means this much to me. Others will be different, and I have seen this. Some go through an era and never want to look back on it again. And some may think about the lessons they’ve learnt and who they’ve become as a result. We can live through the same era and have completely differing experiences. And therefore, our endings will impact us accordingly.

As with all endings, they come eventually. And they pave the way for more adventures to come. And whilst it may be scary and sad to leave one era behind, there has to be space made for what comes next.

I do not know what that is. But I know I am lucky to have had this era, even if it is ending.

Leaving meal activities

*Image is owned by author, all rights reserved