One Year Older

Another year around the sun is the cliche way of saying, I turned one year older, earlier in April. But is this something to celebrate?

Previous birthday blogs have centred on the meaning of birthdays and whether they mandate celebration. This year, I find myself wondering why getting older is a celebration. I am no longer at the age where it is exciting or special - just standard.

In addition, I feel a growing sense of unease on birthdays. The way to describe it is like imposter syndrome but with age. You see, my passport may say my birth date, but I do not feel that age at all. As a child, you imagine what turning certain ages will be like and what milestones you will be hitting.

I have hit some notable milestones and have more to achieve. And birthdays are really the time to reflect on what you have done and where you are going. What are my people my age doing? What do I want to do next?

It is scary because I do not feel like my age has changed since being 16 or even 14. I wonder if this feeling does change when you hit bigger numbers.

And the way society treats “older” people as less favourable is perhaps a role in why I feel this way. As a girl (or woman, technically), society has standards for how I should maintain my appearance and stay youthful for as long as possible.

My mother always says that birthdays and getting older are a blessing. It takes loss to realise what you have and how lucky you are.

I hope that as I get older, in this next year ahead, that I have many moments of happiness that make me feel glad to be at this age. With age comes more wisdom, one would hope!

Ishaa

Author photographed around the time of her birthday

*All rights reserved to the photo which remains the author's property

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